Brightening Others's Lives

Recently, I was asked if I was filled with anger at the direction my life has taken in the recent past.

Honestly - no.

While I wish the physical and financial difficulties were non-existent, I realize this period is meant to serve some good purpose.

What exactly I have yet to fully discover.

But the other day, I got a small hint.

While standing in line, an unknown woman, in her 60's, came up to me and asked, "what do you have?"

Now aside from my peach fuzz noggin and needing my hiking stick to balance a bit, I am fortunate not to look ill.

"You have cancer don't you? I have metastasized breast cancer, and I'm dying."

Weird way to continue a conversation.

It seems she was having a panic attack about leaving her adult children.

"I cry for days at a time, don't you?"

Finally, I was able to speak.

"I allow myself time to cry and feel scared, frustrated or whatever,but it is limited to minutes not hours."

"Oh, you sound so healthy in how you are handling it all."

After assuring her I was far...FAR...away from being canonized as St. Linda I shared a treasured quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson

"It is the knowledge that I am going to die that creates the focus that I bring to being alive. The urgency of accomplishment. The need to express love -- now, not later. If we live forever, why even get out of bed in the morning? Because we always have tomorrow. That's not the type of life I want to lead."

Perhaps, I suggested, by focusing on quality of time she has with her children and not the quantity might be more beneficial.

Grabbing my hand she started crying. I cried and around us people just stared.

After several moments we bid each other the best and departed. Still strangers, as we have never shared names. but stronger in knowing another person understood part our predicament.

Reflecting on the experience, it became clear that all of us have the ability to brighten someone else's life just by sharing a bit of their pain or panic. Push past the fear of looking foolish and focus on the love for fellow human beings.

You'll be amazed at the power you possess.

Comments

The Kindness of Strangers

The kindness of strangers is so important in my life right now as I maneuver about in a place where physical friends do not exist and a lack of a car makes life a challenge. Last evening arout 6:45, I was walking the 1/2 mile to the FDR Home, here in Hyde Park. I've walked it a number of times, but for some reason I resumed my title of "Prima Ballerina at the Klutz Ballet." My left foot caught the lip of the uneven asphalt and after stumbling and unsuccessfully trying to ca tch my balance with my hiking stick...down I went. Sprawled over the shoulder, as I sat up to take inventory, four cars, on both sides of the road screeched to a stop. These four strangers picked me up and stayed as I surveyed the damage.Scraped knees, hands and an aching wrist where it could have been so much worse. One man took me down to the FDR, where a documentary presentation was waiting. As we parked he handed me a small first aid kit and said 'keep it.' It enabled me to cl...

Post Chemo Comic Consequences

My chemo sessions stopped eight months ago. Yet, my brain still gets fuzzy. Not that that is all bad sometimes. I might continue to blame that therapy, not my aging brain, for my forgetfulness in finding my house key, knowing my phone number or blanking out on someone's name whom I just met minutes before. Thankfully, my nails returned to their healthy status. My eyebrows and lashes again accept gobs of mascara. My hair while sparse and patchy in the first post chemo weeks filled in nicely when someone suggested organic peppermint shampoo. One lesson learned was in lieu of the shampoo do not rinse with organic peppermint tea. My baby fuzz turned a light green hue, months prior to St. Patrick's Day. Game changer came once the shampoo revved up my abused hair follicles. So what's the problem, you might ask? Really, its sheer vanity. Its not the coloring. Already mostly gray, it is now a brilliant white that shines constantly. No, its the curls. Kn...

The Nippy Noggin Club

One thing rarely mentioned on cancer support groups or other sites is how cold one’s head and ears can become from a lack of hair. I come from a family of mostly men. At various ages all experienced follicle challenges. But even those who showed more skin than hair, never mentioned being affected by the big chill. Not me. It seems everywhere I go my nippy noggin comes along. Admittedly, when summer temperatures soar in the high 90’s feeling even a hot breeze across my naked scalp is nice. However, just the mildest of air conditioning has me scrambling for cover. Never a hat person prior to this latest challenge, I am now. A series of baseball caps and a wide-brimmed sun hat are typical daytime outdoor attire. Inside I cover up with felt and cotton beanies while singing the praises of the crafty volunteers who kindly donate their stitchery magic to my cancer care unit. Last week I was caught short. Having fallen and scraping up my hands ...

Cancer is only part of my journey

Search This Blog